So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
