i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
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over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
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listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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