I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
