Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
