you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
