dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Randomize
