whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
