Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
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there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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