using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize