Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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