Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
