I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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