Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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