someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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