Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm both gender and math confused
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