I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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