p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize