I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
