I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize