just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
