She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
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i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
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Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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