I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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