just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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