Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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