tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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