eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
