physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
