I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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