How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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