i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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