why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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