I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
