I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
