I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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