apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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