Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
