i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
