She's JV to your varsity
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
