he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
