I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!