So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?