So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party