she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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