Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
