if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
