hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I lost the right to judge tonight
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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