these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize