hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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