Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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