I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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