hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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