Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This baby is an asshole
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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