she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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