i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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