Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
