This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
