All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
