I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
