i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
