It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
