he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
