roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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