belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
