if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
