it hurts more in the daytime
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
